jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
