Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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