i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
