Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
