Swine flu is the new snow day.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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