I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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