I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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