White coat. Heels.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
