just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
