It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
