perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
