Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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