I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
