cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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