those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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