I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
