I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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