Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Couch. On fire.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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