so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
