then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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