At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am naked and annoyed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
