before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Floor bacon is actually really good
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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