He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
