I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
