there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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