Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
