he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
