In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
