You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
