Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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