have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
