I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
