just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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