I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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