he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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