3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
