please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
