How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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