I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
