Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
