miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
