Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
