Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
