Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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