Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
