You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
