i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
