So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
