i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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