I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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